November 1, 2003 PlanetLightworker Newsletter

In the dark

It was about 12:30 AM. I awakened from a sound sleep with the smell of smoke in my nostrils. It was completely dark with the exception of a few faint stars glimmering through the canopy of pine trees outside my bedroom windows and the phosphorescence of my watch. I had no electricity. The utility company had cut electricity to the small community where I live. Yes, I had paid my electric bill…

Well aware that this newsletter goes to an international audience, I chose to write this commentary about a personal and regional “event” that is still occurring two days before its publication date. I do so with the intention that it will find its way into the hearts of readers regardless of where they live, and that its message transcends its “local” orientation.

I live in a mountainous area of southern California. To the south, west, and north of me, terrible wildfires have been burning for days. There are none in my immediate area, although that could literally change any minute. My car is packed and ready to evacuate me and my animal family (two dogs and two cats) on a few minutes notice. We have lived in this state of not knowing for five days now. It seems like five months…

To complete the scene, hundreds of thousands of acres (or hectares – a hectare is about 2.5 acres) have burned, a couple of thousand houses destroyed, and as of today, at least 20 people have died. The fires are human in origin, either accidentally or purposeful arson. The fuel for the fires is primarily dead trees, brush, and other vegetation that died as a result of four years of drought that stressed the plants and made the majestic pines subject to infestation by a tiny beetle that killed them.

Back to the smell of smoke early in the morning… there were no fires in my community. The smoke was blown in our direction from distant fires. It carried the scents of death, destruction, and despair. It was dark because of an almost total lack of light, and it was dark because of an almost total lack of Light. In that moment, my faith flew out the window to disappear into the dark.

Now faith comes and goes for me. Sometimes I have more than at other times. Rarely am I completely without faith. There are even times when I have a “knowing” that goes beyond faith. That morning, I had neither knowing nor faith. I was scared; I was filled with fear. It was dark, I had no communication with the outside, I live in a house surrounded by huge pine trees (which were a blessing until then), and I smelled smoke. I was very scared.

As a self-styled maven of fear release, I describe the typical reactions to fear as fleeing, fighting, or floundering. I floundered – stuck, paralyzed - I was alone, cut-off, and unable to take any action. My animal family was all around me (on a not big enough bed) sensitive to the state I was in and waiting to see what I would do. I was waiting to see what I would do.

Finally, I got out my trusty crystal pendant, and I asked it if we were in danger from fire. It answered with a definite no. Thank goodness, but then I wondered if I am influencing the crystal with what I want to be “true,” rather than reality. (Yes, I experience a reality that is linked to the physical world as much as I would like to transcend it and dwell in other dimensions.) So, being a pretty linear person, I thought let’s go for the best two out of three crystal queries. This time I specifically asked the crystal to ignore any influence of my ego, fears, desires, and expectations in responding to my questions. I asked about our safety from fire once more. The crystal moved.

Both times, the answers were a definite no. With this as a calming influence, I finally went back to sleep and awoke to the sun shining brightly in a clear, smokeless sky. It was as if I had never smelled smoke in the dark of the night.

Since that night, the electricity was turned back on, and several of the fires are contained although the two fiercest ones are still raging. What did I learn from this and what potential value does my experience have for you?

There are two principal teachings for me from this experience:

The first one, “Like it or not, we play by Mother Nature’s rules, not our own.”

The second one, “Like it or not, we play by God’s rules, not our own.”

About the first teaching, I clearly got that as humans we exist on this ball of water and rock because of the grace of Mother Earth who, I believe, has a consciousness that penetrates every molecule of every substance that exists on and within her. She is the mistress of incredible energies and forces that generally serve humanity, but at times, are needed to balance some aspect of the planet, hence, the occurrence of “natural disasters.” She has her own set of rules that govern this balancing.

In the area where I live, public lands abound that are managed by various governmental agencies. The population of trees here is ten times denser than is healthy. This condition stresses the tree population, and Mother Earth, will eventually thin the population through disease and fire. To their credit, many of the managing agencies have attempted to thin the trees through allowing controlled logging only to be thwarted by environmental groups who become outraged at the thought of laying hands or chainsaws to a single limb. They file lawsuits and injunctions that tie the hands of the forest managers, and the trees and brush continue to proliferate and die, just like some countries have birth rates that they cannot healthily sustain. This is humans trying to make Mother Earth play by our rules.

Without the presence of humans, forest fires have restored the balance of trees and other flora for untold millennia. Forest fires are still restoring the balance of trees and flora except now humans live amongst them. Human rules simply are ignored by Mother Earth. I am a staunch supporter of ecology which I believe is an effort to support Mother Earth’s rules to maintain the balance of her Earth. However, I can no longer abide organizations or individuals who attempt to write their own rules as to how the Earth should be “managed.” As is happening here in the area where I live, Mother Earth grows weary of our misguided efforts and corrects the situation.

The lesson is clear: if we are to live on this planet until we all either ascend or kill ourselves, we must recognize Mother Earth’s rules and play by them, not ones of our creation, for example, those that seek to protect a few hundred members of some species of small bird or lizard at the sacrifice of natural balance. Countless species have come and gone on the Earth through the mechanics of evolution. To needlessly slaughter entire species (the fate almost experienced by the American bison and bald eagle) is not playing by the rules just as not managing a wilderness that results in destroying humans and their homes is also not playing by the rules.

The second teaching for me, “Like it or not, we play by God’s rules, not our own,” is really the higher level origin of the first teaching - Mother Earth rules. It is a reaffirmation (how many do I need?), that we humans get caught up in a grandiose extrapolation of who we are. We want to play God, not be God. It seems that as part of our human package, we have an arrogance that we know best. I think that when that happens, our egos and need for control are running the show. Part of spiritual evolution is gaining the ability to simply release and allow the superior power to do what it needs to do. The imminent example is the fires burning around the area where I live. Being human embodies a physical fragility that is never far from most of our consciousnesses – we are constantly confronted with situations that can harm or kill us; thus, I believe we have a driving desire to control our environment so that we will be safe. That is simply not possible.

We can conduct ourselves prudently and take precautions to protect our bodies, but total safety is never assured. There was no total safety available to me that dark and smoky night for me and my animals regardless of how much I wanted it; it simply could not be secured. My crystal kept telling me that we were safe, and, “Yes, but…” kept running through my thoughts.

What became very clear for me in looking back at this experience is that I was playing by my rules. I wanted to have an absolute guarantee that I and the animals were safe. That was my rule, not God’s. Physical fragility is part of being human. I am confronted many times each day with the possibility of being harmed or even killed. I can have no absolute guarantee of physical safety. I think that God does not have many “rules.” The one that became so clear that dark and smoky night is: “I cannot play God, I can only be God.” There is a huge difference. I needed to understand that my physical vulnerability is part of the reason that I am here on Earth, and just as Mother Earth’s rules trump human rules, God’s rules take precedence over mine. I am here to experience this existence, to learn that which is in my highest and best interest, and to surrender to the process of doing so, to know that ultimately I am “safe,” and that my soul is indestructible.

Whose rules do you play by?

May you discern with compassion,

Ron
ron@planetlightworker.com