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Modest Proposals


June 11, 2002

A Modest Proposal - Question #1: Who Am I?

Hi everyone,

My thanks to the large number of you who wrote and expressed their thoughts about last month's newsletter, the one about Fanning the Fires of Discontent. In fact, I received a lot more email about that one than I usually do. The funny thing is that I got lazy (an often recurring trait of mine) and whipped that one out in a short period of time the evening of the tenth, the day before I have committed to release each month's newsletter. I didn't think it was all that good, at least, from a style perspective. Now, I rarely "struggle" to write the newsletter maybe because I don't like to struggle, so I don't, but nonetheless, I usually write the letter a few days in advance and let it simmer, make changes, and then release it on schedule. I asked myself the question, since I didn't follow my normal method, why did the May letter turn out so well from the perspective of many readers?

After rereading the May letter a few times and the email that I received, I concluded a couple of things. One is that it contained suggestions for being in action to find contentment. Several readers liked that and even reported on their results in taking the actions and that makes sense. We all like to know how to do something that interests us. Life is like getting a complex VCR and remote, but without an instruction manual. It takes a lot of trial and effort (plus commitment and intention) to figure it out. We human beings don't come with an instruction manual. Actually, we do, but the manual is buried so deeply within us by the time we become adults we can't remember it is there, much less find it.

Where is all of this headed? I have taken up two paragraphs without even getting to the subject of "Who am I?" - or maybe I have. The second thing that I got from rereading the May letter and consequent emails is that because I wrote the letter hurriedly, I simply said what was in my heart. I didn't have a lot of concern about paragraph and sentence construction, word selection, or syntax. I just wrote the darn thing the way it came out. Hardly changed a word from the first draft.

It was then that I recalled something that I recently read in two different books about shamanism. Both books said that in order for a person to be ready for emotional and physical healing, there are three questions the person needs to answer. The first question is: who am I? If the May letter came from my heart, surely, it must express who I am. I decided then to use this letter and the next two to explore the three questions.

The June question is: who am I?

It's a tough one. I initially wondered if I could answer it. I realized that having that attitude meant that I felt I needed to provide the ultimate answer that was unimpeachable and irrefutable. Heck, if I had that one, I could put it on the back of my business cards and hand them out to people so they would know who I am. I wouldn't want to be "wrong" about who I am. How embarrassing!

After some more thoughts and few crumpled up pages of notes, I realized that not only is there ALWAYS an answer, the answer changes over time, and it is always correct. Who I think I am is who I am - no guesswork is needed. All that is needed is to articulate who I am now in this moment. Now for the articulation…

The first thing I wrote was: "Who I am is someone committed to supporting other people discovering who they are." Sounds impressive, but a bit circular isn't it? Also, who am I going to be after I finish the newsletter, say while I clean dishes or pick up dog poop in the backyard? This wasn't working very well… I realized that I defined who I am by what I am doing at the moment, and what I do, does not necessarily define who I am. These shaman types are tricky people!

Then it hit me. Who I am is how I relate to the Universe. Who I am defines my piece of the intergalactic pie. Now, I am not going to tell you what I came up with. Next month I will. The reason is that if you want to work on who you are, then you don't want to take what I say as your answer. Believe me, doing this work is really beneficial. My modest proposal is that you come up with an answer to who am I? Conveniently provided below are a few simple steps to use if you are so inclined.

***Asking "Who Am I?"***
1. The rules are: any answer is correct, and write your answer down so you can compare it to the next time you answer who am I?
2. Take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself aloud (if not environmentally embarrassing), "Who am I?"
3. Take whatever comes and write it down. Look at the words. If you described what you are doing in that moment (e.g., "I am a silly fool for doing this dumb exercise!"), then that is a correct answer.
4. You can keep playing with this and getting more answers until at some point, you may shift to considering what the Universe might think about your descriptions. Does the Universe consider you a silly fool? I don't think so.
5. The key here is to get to how you relate to the Universe, and maybe you are relating to the Universe as a silly fool. If you are, that's OK, because that's how you define yourself at this time. It may also motivate you to be something different if you want to be something other than a self-created silly fool.
6. Repeat every few weeks or months until your answer keeps coming up the same. Then you will know who you TRULY are, and what a gift that is to the rest of us!
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I hope that you can see answering this simple question can create a lot to think about. Back to the shamanistic application of this question to emotional and physical healing, I see that having awareness of how we relate to the Universe opens the way to our healing and curing. Do we relate to the Universe in such a way that we will allow our healing to take place? Interesting question… I am going to ponder that one. I invite you to ponder as well and if you want to share ponderings please email me. Would also like to hear your answer(s) to: who am I? Please remember that this process can be fun, so please play with it!

Comments and counter proposals are welcome. Please email ron@RonMcCray.com.

In the Light...Ron

 

© Ron McCray 2002 - 2004