A Modest Proposal

Uncommon thinking about common experiences
inspired by a quote attributed to Albert Einstein:
“Today’s problems cannot be solved at the same
level of thinking that created them.”

Of what value is it?
Part 2 of 2

May 11, 2004

In Part 1 of this two part series, I discussed the value (or lack thereof) of spiritual pursuits that did not lead to healing myself; rather, they often took me into ever-widening circles that eventually lead nowhere. Although I actively pursued a spiritual path for almost two decades through all manner of learning experiences, my life was not transforming to provide the harmony and fulfillment that I so badly needed. Then I met a very special woman who became not only my partner but was the first person in my adult life to love me unconditionally. When I met her I believed that I had healed myself of the major blockages that had previously prevented me from loving unconditionally – she taught me that this was not the case. I so wanted to be fully connected to her that I became committed to healing the blockages that stood between us. I, much to my joy, did heal them when I discovered that all of those years, my head shaped my heart. When my heart began shaping my head, the blockages became obvious and were eventually cleared. Only then were we able to be with each other, in ways that I never imagined possible. I finally found that to live in my passion is what really makes my life worth living. She is my passion, and I hers. If you are not living in your passion, read on.

Of what value is it - life itself?

I can’t get any more fundamental about the human experience than this question. Whatever the answer, it is the reason(s) why we stick around. You could easily say; what, do I have a choice to stick around? Well… of course you do. Obviously some folks consciously choose to end their lives through suicide and there are still others who unconsciously choose to die lingering, often painful deaths by way of some physical means, usually through dis-ease. There are some whose contracts are about dying at a particular time in support of those who continue to stay. So, yes, for everyone who is alive at this moment, there are one or more reasons to continue living. There is a value to life for us all.

For each of us, I think that knowing the reason… the value for our life is most instructive as we continue down our path.

Without life, there is nothing. Obviously on this side of the veil, death dissolves the veil and we return to where we started; the human adventure for this round is over. That is, I no longer experience life as I have known it – rather, it is an entirely different existence that does not parallel being human. If I die unconnected and unhealed, I did not find my way back home, thereby eliminating my reunion with God on this side of the veil. Either way is okay… there is no judgment, only opportunity.

This, I know, is my “way” and I came upon it after my first fifty years into this life. What did I layer on top of the real value of my life before I began to awaken? Well, it is a list which is not completely complimentary, but it is nonetheless an accurate one. So, with no apologies, these were the chief layers of “value” that obscured the real value of my life – to reconnect with the One.

Given the lopsided nature of my “before” list, it is interesting that I stayed around. In fact, before and after I began to awaken, I considered leaving many times. There did not seem to be enough value for me to stay. In fact, I felt much like Jimmy Stewart’s character in It’s a Wonderful Life, although I was too cowardly to contemplate jumping into a freezing river! I believe that what kept me here was my love for my son and the vague possibility that life could be of more value than I was experiencing. As to how to realize that possibility, I had not a clue for over fifty years.

That possibility led to immersing myself in personal growth and eventually spiritual experiences that created the ever-widening circle that I discussed in Part 1. This topic of “Of what value is it?” presented a chicken and egg dilemma, and I chose to first write about healing and reconnecting, and my motivation to do so second. You could read these two parts in either order, yet the question remains the same: Of what value is it?

Even after I awakened, I stumbled around like someone who gets out of bed in the middle of the night and is neither still asleep nor wide awake. I bumped into enough figurative doors and furniture to end up covered with emotional bruises. How I eventually found the light switch and turned the Light on is another story, and I previously wrote about it in bits and pieces. How I did it is not important to anyone but me as we all need to find our individual paths. My “story” may occur as profound or boring, but it is mine and mine alone as is yours. Unfortunately, there are no “Paths ‘r Us” stores where we can find an appealing, neatly packaged path to follow.

The only potential lesson for you from my experience is that if I did it, you can too, for there was nothing special about me other than my eventual resolve to have my life transform.

Ron’s list of values “after” connecting…

So there you have it – closure to the question, “Of what value is it?” My modest proposal to you is to honestly ask yourself, “What are you living for?” Take whatever comes to mind and ask the question, “Of what value would your life be without it?” I can assure you that whatever answers you receive will be most instructive, possibly lighting the path to your “way” home.

May you be well and discern with compassion…

Ron McCray