A Modest Proposal Story is path…Path is story June 18, 2006 OK admittedly this title is one of those literary devices that really doesn’t inform; rather, it creates curiosity or perhaps evokes an offhanded deletion. Since you’ve at least gotten this far, that says you’re either curious or your intuition has indicated that maybe there is something worthwhile for you here. So, let’s see; hopefully you’ll be rewarded in some way for doing so. Story is path… Path is story We all have a story which defines our path and when we walk that path we reinforce our story. Now, before you conclude that this is circle-speak, let me explain. Our ”story” is the central focus of our lives and drives the way that we interpret our world and act out our lives kind of like a play. Hmmm, that’s an interesting notion… we’ll explore it a bit later. Since our stories go on for years there are subplots to be sure, but there is a central theme that defines our lives. The key is to figure out what our story is! Once we have awareness of our story, not only do we begin to gain some measure of right control over our lives, we could potentially position ourselves to begin to make changes in our lives that we truly believe will make them happier and more harmonious. That doesn’t always mean that life becomes smooth sailing, but “happier and more harmonious” certainly makes putting up with the rest of our “stuff” easier. If we are willing to do the work, the payoff could be the jackpot of a lifetime. So…here’s the setup. We all have our story and our story tells us about the path that we are on in life; not necessarily the path we chose for ourselves before we came into this life, but the one that we have wandered off onto in a state of spiritual oblivion. We are all essentially spiritual beings just as sure as we are air breathing, carbon-based units called human beings. We all have souls and many of our souls are in hiding, waiting for the slightest bit of light to illuminate the dark corners in which they are crouched, awaiting recognition. At some point in our lives, we awaken to the recognition that God is within and our soul is the most intimate connection we can possibly have. So, although we are all spiritual beings (the having a soul part), some souls are more aware of what’s going on than others – meaning, they get to come out into the light and play because their humans invited them to do so. Now I’m not coming down on the folks who are still asleep; I don’t know anyone (put my name at the top of that list) that considers themselves to be “awake” that wasn’t asleep earlier in the game, so tolerance and compassion are always appropriate. For those in the thick of this asleep-awake transition, be aware that everything conspires to attempt to divert you to a path other than the one we set for ourselves “up there” where everything was crystal clear, well before we began dragging around these body bags that we occupy “down here.” These diversions take up a lot of our time and energy and often don’t leave much left over; in short, it’s easy to sleepwalk through a human existence. Both my mother and father did, bless their hearts, and they are no less loved for having done so. My suggestion to you: Realize your true story, not the public version that attempts to keep you safe from your own truth. There is much value in your story; so much so, that it can help you unravel the mystery of your life. I cannot outlive my story; I can only out die my story! Curious about what your story is? If so, allow me to make some suggestions… All of our stories have the same basic plot; only the details differ. You know the basic plot concept...there’re only a few. Take the romantic story for example: boy meets girl, boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, and they more or less live happily ever after. If you read novels, watch movies or television (especially day or evening soaps) you have experienced this plot unfold many times, and each time, although common sense tells us that the boy will get the girl back, there is also some amount of tension that hints that it may just not happen this time. So what is the basic plot for your story which is my story too? The soul incarnates as a human, the soul knows only love, the soul learns that love is conditional, the soul spends the rest of the incarnation trying to get love back – the play of life in four acts. Note that wherein the boy gets the girl back, the soul does not necessarily get love back. That is our collective story at its most basic. So you want an example? Sigh, rather than dish up someone else’s story, I’ll tell you mine. Act 1: Ronnie (that’s me, the hero of this story) was born an only child (at the time) into a middle-class family. Act 2: His parents were as loving and attentive as they could be, given their versions of their stories, and Ronnie pretty much spent his younger years experiencing unconditional love, especially from his maternal grandmother with whom he spent most of his waking hours. Ronnie and his mom lived on her parents’ farm in Kentucky during World War II while his father was in the Navy in the Pacific. His mother and grandfather worked, so Ronnie spent most of his days alone with his grandmother who doted on him – in fact, he seemed to be able to do no wrong in her eyes. When he was about five, he was terrorized by a tom turkey in the barnyard (well, it seemed terrifying to him as the turkey was taller than he); so, he retaliated by throwing a rock at the turkey only to hit a chicken instead, killing it. His grandmother got a good laugh out of it and everyone had fried chicken for supper that night. It was a good life. Act 3: Something happened to Ronnie when he was six… His parents moved away from where his grandmother lived and outside of the comfort of her influence, he found out what wrong was. His father operated an automobile garage and got pretty dirty in the course of his job. One day when his dad was off someplace, Ronnie rolled around in the oil and dirt, soiling himself from head to toe so he could look just like his dad. He was so proud of himself, but when his mom saw the mess he’d made of himself, she went ballistic, screaming and banishing him to his room. When his father got home, he received his first beating. Ronnie discovered that behavior determines the love you receive…or not. For the first time, he knew that love was really conditional - and life was never the same after that. Act 4: Our hero decided that if love was indeed conditional he would learn how to secure it. He created a formula that became his emotional drug of choice and he would pay dearly throughout the coming years for his addiction. His belief was that he was really unworthy of receiving love, but he was resolved to fake appearing to be worthy by following his “formula.” This formula would stay the same for decades; it just got more sophisticated in its application as he got older:
This is how Ronnie lived, even after Ronnie became Ron, and by society’s measure he was quite successful. But, he had little joy in his life, for every time he thought he would not be accepted, out came the formula and he became what he thought others required of him in order to be accepted. Turns out, it was impossible for him to enjoy life while not being who he really was inside so emotional satisfaction was replaced with material pursuit. He accumulated a lot of stuff that would prove his worthiness to the world, but for some reason it never satisfied much longer than it took to remove the price tags. This was his story. This became his path. The story: I’m not good enough to be loved for who I am. The path: He would control how he was perceived so that his fear of rejection and not being ‘good enough’ would never be seen…no one would ever know that he believed that he didn’t deserve the love that he so desperately sought. Right about there, his path became his story. Does it end here? Is this all there is? No and no, although it could have ended here. Let’s switch pronouns back to the first person. What I wrote in Act 4 was my life in a nutshell. I was not a dirty, rotten, scoundrel (at least most of the time), I simply lived the way I was trained to live - without awareness – and was no better or worse off than most everyone else. I had so institutionalized my story that I believed that I couldn’t be any different than I was; I thought that I couldn’t change. But then, something happened and I got a glimpse of the possibility that not only could I change, I really wanted to change who I was being. Here’s the replay…I was sitting in my first (of many, as it turned out) personal growth seminar, and for the first time in my life, I was both observer and the observed, watching myself running my formula. Not only was I appalled at who I saw I was being, but in that moment of revelation, I saw that the path I was on was just a story that I believed was real. I suddenly knew that I could change my life, and gosh, perhaps even find joy by simply being who I really was at heart. It would be several years before I put it all together but this was the start: I now understood that path is story and that I could change my story which would then change my path. In that moment, I realized that as long as you’re still breathing it’s never too late to experience joy. That was the beginning of writing a new end to my Act 4. I recognized that I was the sole playwright of my life’s story and that I alone could change who I was being letting my “soul” be the playwright. If I had not had the good fortune to discover that my life was just a story -being made up as I went along and that I could change it - I surely would not be writing this article. In fact, I might not be alive to pass on that bit of understanding to you. This was my path and sometimes the darkness within it still beckons to me, reinforcing the will of the real me to stand firmly on my new path. I do not wish to forget my old story, for it provided the rich experiences of contrast that have enabled me to appreciate the joy that is mine today, and fortunately, I have someone in my life who reminds me when I begin to wander back to the old days of illusion and deception. I’ve found that my new story is more addictive than the old one, for absolutely nothing beats joy! If you truly know your story, then you are on the way to knowing yourself and can choose to change your story to whatever you want it to be. My Modest Proposal to you is: Know your story so that you can really begin to know yourself… the dark and the light. That will probably take some digging and you may not like everything that you find, but remember that knowing your story enables you to write a different ending to your Act 4…and, regardless of your age, it’s never too late to do just that! May
you discern with compassion… This newsletter had its beginnings with my work on the online magazine PlanetLightworker.com. I am grateful for the support of the magazine's staff especially Editor Sandra Sedgbeer. Visit the site for an eclectic mix of spiritually oriented articles, features, and art with a brand new edition published at the first of every month. PlanetLightworker
Modest Proposal text: Copyright 2006 Ron McCray Contact Ron at ron@turtlewheel.com Visit Ron's website, The Turtle Wheel at www.turtlewheel.com To subscribe to the Modest Proposals newsletter click SUBSCRIBE.. The Modest Proposals newsletter supports spam free emailing and requires email validation that you wish to subscribe. If you choose to subscribe, you will be sent an email that you must reply to in order to complete the subscription. Ron cannot complete the subscription for you once it is started. Your email address will not be sold, given, bartered, or traded with any other party. You may unsubscribe at any time by following the link provided in each newsletter. If you have questions, please contact Ron: ron@turtlewheel.com . Thanks...
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